This is certainly shower lecture worthy...to bad I am at work, sitting in an 8x10 metal box with an unnecessarily ancient and loud heater rattling in the background.
I'll write it anyway.
My job makes me doubt the intelligence of human beings everywhere. Let me give you an example.
*Car pulls up about halfway to where my window is and stops...and sits there...not moving. I open the window and stick my head out of the, relatively, warm confines of my workspace so that I can see what the problem is. The car finally pulls up level with the window.*
Vehicle Occupant: Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't see anyone in there, so I wasn't sure where I should go.
My thoughts: No duh, I had the window closed so I wouldn't catch pneumonia and I have a time clock, 5 clip boards, and a 3 pieces of paper with instructions for the employees who haven't been working here for over 9 months taped up. Of course you couldn't see me. If you had pulled forward like an intelligent person you would have seen me through the side window.
My actual words: Well *nervous laugh* It's pretty cold out. Gotta keep the window shut to keep warm air in.
*They respond by looking at me like my need to not get hypothermia is a great inconvenience to them. I take their parking validation.*
My words: Well have a nice day! *cheery smile*
My thoughts: ....dickhead...hope your car crashes. *My job makes me a mean person.*
Of course a specific person made me write this post.
*Woman pulls up and begins searching high and low for her parking stub while babbling in spanish to her child in the back seat and completely pretending I don't exist*
My thoughts: Why do people who can, apparently, pass a driver's test find it so hard to keep up with a piece of paper?
My words: .....*because I'm still apparently invisible.*
*She hunts for about 6 minutes for this paper. Looks at me sheepishly.*
My words: A lost ticket is $10. I can't let you out without paying.
My words: Yes, sorry. Company policy *I point to a sign*
Driver: Oh...*looks around in the car and hands me the ticket*
My words: Oh, look. That was lucky! That's $2.
My thoughts: Right, you couldn't find it while searching for it for over 5 minutes, but one glance finds it when you find out I'm going to charge you either way and you won't get out free if you "lost your ticket". Bitch...
My words: Have a nice day! *only a vaguely murderous cheerful grin*
You see what my job does? It makes me believe that people are all either, completely stupid and self-absorbed or self-absorbed and complete liars and scammers.
I'm going to go postal one of these days...
The hunt for a new job continues.