Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I am a cuddler

There, my big secret is out. I have told you my deep dark secret. I like to hug, poke, tickle, cuddle and otherwise accost my family and friends, and if I am dating someone then you can add grope, kiss, massage and otherwise molest to the list. And actually the truth is that sex is secondary to me in a relationship, just because I'm getting touchy-feely with someone doesn't mean I need follow through.

It is unfortunate for me that my family and friends are mostly not the hugging kind of people. I give my parent's and sister hugs and kisses and mostly they just accept them (or in my sister's case, accept them and look at me like I'm crazy), but fail to return them because it's just not important to them. The only friend I had in high school who was similar to me was my friend Cindy, we hugged, held hands and generally draped ourselves over each other senior year of high school...which led to a few rumors about us which had no truth in reality, but high school boys have VERY active imaginations. In anycase, Cindy and I are still friends, but she lives in another state now, which makes hugging and cuddling a bit difficult.

Most of my other friends aren't big on hugging for various reasons. I had one good friend last year at college, my very sweet (and very gay) friend Chris could always be counted on to allow quite a bit of cuddling, but I live on the other side of town and don't talk to him much anymore. My surrogate little brother, Juan, is okay with hugging in general (when saying bye after a visit or similar things) but he also has a girlfriend and saves most of the cuddling for her, which I totally understand. One of my other very close friends, who reads this blog, started out knowing me in a capacity where hugging would have been VERY inappropriate and that, almost, fear of touching seems to have carried over to our current friendship.Other than I have very few other friends that I see very often. I have various friends that I am very close to who would probably not mind the cuddling, but they, unfortunately, live in other states.

I, unlike many of my friends, seem to uniquely love sleeping a bed with another person. Some of the most restful nights of sleep that I can remember having were when I was dating my girlfriend and I was staying over at her place. I usually toss and turn and end up sleeping in every position imaginable every night, but when I'm in a bed with another person I can sleep in pretty much one position and actually sleep soundly.
Of course the opposite is also true, on the few nights that I and my girlfriend went to bed angry with one another for any reason I slept terribly. This would be because we would lay stiff as boards on opposite sides of the bed and never touch each other. I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was terrified I would roll over in my sleep and touch her and make her angrier than she already was, which is all rather hilarious now that I think back on it.

Also, unlike the relationships of many of my friends in my age group, sex was generally of secondary importance. Sure, it was nice if we were in the mood, but just being together and cuddling (which is just a very difficult word to say with a straight face...) was the best part of being in a relationship in my mind.

Anyway, that's my deep dark secret...that was never really a secret at all....

Man my blog is getting so boring, who wants to read this shit anyway?

No comments: