Monday, December 21, 2009

hmm...

I was just reading my previous post and it occurred to me that I ended it a bit abruptly. Sorry, I was in a hurry to get to the mall when I was typing the last bit.

I'm not about to make any abrupt, crazy changes to my life. I just know that I need to start consider things and not trying to ignore them. I've been pushing anything uncomfortable to the side and not wanting to think about the future, because it honestly scares the shit out of me.

I guess I'm sort of reminded of this shirt from Questionable Content when thinking of my life.

It's the honest to god truth. I've made bad decisions, I've put off acting like an adult and now I have to lay down in the bed I've made. I'm scared stiff.

I have dreams, things I really truly want to do with my life. If I don't do these things I know in the end I will regret not at least trying. At the same time, these dreams would take me away from someone that I am falling for more and more each day. I have different advice from all my friends on the subject, but I have to make decisions for myself and stop leaning on other people to make decisions for me.

I don't know why life has to be so confusing, but it is and I want so badly to make the right decisions. The decisions that will make me happy, but there are so many conflicting things that I want in my life.

So that's the story, it's gonna be difficult, but I hope that I can pull through.

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